Just call him Dave. Really, he's quite nice you know. He kisses babies and just loves the poor. The old Conservatives are dead! long live the Conservatives!
This is what they want you to believe, of course. That there has been a monumental paradigm shift within the Conservative party, and now they're fluffy liberal bunnies just itching to embrace the lower classes, the LGBT population, the trades union. You have to wonder how many people can see beyond this peeling layer of bullshit coloured paint and into the dark recesses of a party that hasn't changed one jot. The carefully constructed PR exercise that is David Cameron has toiled away to re-brand them as a caring party - but even if you genuinely believe that David Cameron represents such changes (Charlie Brooker certainly doesn't, and I for one can't argue with him) then he's doomed to eternally push and push his veneer of reason to keep up with the tidal wave of vitriol that seeps from within his party ranks.
It'll take all the running he can do, just to stay in the same place.
For every time he comes out in support of a group like Hindus in Britain, there's an MP declaring that homosexuality is not normal on his campaign website. For every performance he gives in a televised debate emphasising how he will help the poor, the vulnerable and the frail, there's an MP with a background in a church that allegedly sought to banish the "demons" of homosexuality and transgenderism from vulnerable individuals. The latter story was broken by the Observer yesterday, and I would be discussing it in more detail, but fear that my mental faculties are currently too clouded by fury to get any further than AAAARGGHHH.
So next time you hear David Cameron talking about social justice, just remember - he's most probably wearing leopard print boxers.
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