The Last Day

Rosettes are being polished, smiles of gracious victory practiced, confetti primed, jack boots readied. Well, one of those isn't quite true. The environmental impact of confetti is too much for many modern councils to take.

It's the last day in what has been probably the most exciting, if convoluted, election campaign for as long as the media can remember (i.e. 10-15 years, give or take). When the doors open and the stubby polling booth pencil is hovering over the page, where will your "x" fall? Perhaps the breaking stories this week have influenced your vote; perhaps you'd rather just get in there and use the time honored "eeny meeny", or pin hopes on a last minute divine vision in your dreams this evening. Tonight, you dream of David Cameron! Probably mud wrestling with Nick Clegg. You'll thank me in the morning.

It's in these last days that the most revealing moments have somehow unveiled themselves, as if in the highly caffeinated haze the parties are suddenly waking up. For one, Gordon Brown gave the speech of his life, not even flapped by an anti-nuclear protester (or the enormous heavies ushering him away, one of whom looked remarkably like the Kingpin in an ill-fitting suit). He seemed articulate, passionate, but above all human. Where has this man been in the past weeks? Although the cynic within wonders if he added the references to Cicero and Demosthenes in response to last week's This Week programme discussing the literacy levels of the party leaders, that's a minor moment of pedantry - I was actually incredibly impressed.

Meanwhile, a media blackout reigns on the Phillipa Stroud issue; the Tory party have apparently threatened to sue if the mainstream press run with the story. One commentator at the Guardian worries that the lack of press coverage is emblematic of the fact that "homophobia is a fringe issue" - not because of the right wing bias of much of the media?

There have been some interesting tactics from Labour candidates too - Peter Hain and Ed Balls encouraged us to "vote intelligently" - which apparently involves not voting for them. A rather radical interpretation of party support, but this is put in the shade by the incredible own-goal buffoonery of Labour candidate Manish Sood who lambasted the PM as the worst ever, as well as pining for a Britain of the 1970s (presumably with all the joys of racial, sexual and social inequality?), and demanding more respect for the Queen. If anything, I expect this to gain sympathy for the PM rather than rally fellow "freedom fighters" to Sood's cause.

Amidst the three-party posturing and preening, a little Green voice shines through. Caroline Lucas slammed the leaders' debates as a "three-party stitch up" that meant important issues did not get a proper airing. She rightly points out that with the millions of viewers and blanket coverage, the debates had an enormous influence on the voting public. I can only imagine what might have happened should we have had her influence on the stage, though then we would have also had "the future is orange" Nigel Farage and "no black Welshmen" Nick Griffin making the proceedings about as politically relevant and serious as the average episode of Tiswas.

It's the last day, folks. Tomorrow, use your voice and vote.